Let me start off by saying I am by no means a doctor or even a medical professional, so if you are looking for professional advice, this isn't the place. I'm just a girl who's been through a lot looking to help other people through my experiences.
This pregnancy so far has been rough. And I don't just mean the normal morning sickness, hormones, gaining weight, etc. It's literally everything. I feel like a ticking time bomb because if someone says or does the wrong thing, I might blow up. Up until the time we decided to start trying, I was on 2 different medications. One for my anxiety and one to help with my depression. Once we decided to start trying, neither of those were safe to take if we were to get pregnant, so I decided to get off of them and wait until we were pregnant to talk about medications with an OB/GYN. There are many days where I can tell my meds actually helped me. Finding the right medication is such a trial and error. So not being on the ones that worked for you really stinks. To be honest, even my OB said there aren't a whole lot of meds that you can take for anxiety during pregnancy.
Obviously, we have a lot of reasons to be anxious with this pregnancy. With our first son, the first 20 weeks were smooth sailing because we didn't know anything was wrong until after that halfway point. Now with this one, every day is a struggle. I am constantly thinking the worst, and if I'm being completely transparent, it's been very hard to be excited about this baby. Now I don't want this to come off the wrong way, so please don't take it that way, because I am so happy to have this little blessing in our life.
What I mean is, with our first pregnancy, I didn't know any better. This was our first born! I would update our weekly chalkboards, draw cute little messages, buy earphones so the baby could hear us, and just get so excited over the littlest things. This one is so different. I think instead of posting a weekly bump picture, I've only posted one. I haven't even done my chalkboard with cute little fruit and weekly cravings. All I can think of in the back of my head is whether or not this baby is going to survive. That sounds so bad, but it's true.
We go in 3 weeks for our 20 week anatomy scan and at 24 weeks we will have an echo to check the baby's heart. Every waiting day in between appointments is so hard. I just want to be able to be at the doctor 24/7 and I know that's not healthy. It's all just a waiting game as of now.
Whether you've lost a child, this is your first pregnancy, or even your 5th, everyone has something to be anxious about. Don't let anyone dismiss that. You know yourself and your body and if you aren't okay, THAT'S OKAY! Below are some things that have helped me deal with my anxiety the best I can at this time.
- Taking things day by day. Don't get overwhelmed planning for the future, instead focus on things that are happening sooner rather than later. For example, don't plan the first birthday party today, instead plan for something that would happen closer or after birth.
- Find something enjoyable. Obviously I love doing my business and creating things so that is always my go to. Sometimes I just go into my office and make something new to help me relax. Even if something I don't ever show anyone, it still keeps my mind occupied.
- Don't dwell on the what-ifs. This one is hard for me to give advice on because this is something I have and probably always will struggle with. Just try to focus on things in your control and don't think too hard about the things that aren't.
- Have a good support circle. Even if no one in your friends or family understand what is going on, having people to just go on a lunch date or to the movies with helps extremely.
- Sunshine! I'm sitting outside in our beautiful spring weather writing this right now and I just feel so good. Vitamin D is good for the soul, and I think everyone needs a little of it.
- Trying something new. This doesn't have to be something out of your comfort zone, it can be something you've always wanted to do. Just think of something that might help ease your mind and get you out of your own head.
- See someone. If this all seems too overwhelming for you, see a counselor. If you don't think that you can do this alone, talking to a stranger who has no ties to your life in anyway seriously helps. There has been so many times I am thankful I started counseling to have an outside view vs. having so many opinions/thoughts from people on the inside.
I hope some of these can help you get through your anxiety and depression if it's there. These don't just have to pertain to pregnancy, these tips can be used in daily life. It's just things that I know have worked for me and I'd love to be able to pass on the help to others who need it. Next blog post should be a bumpdate so stay tuned in for that!
Until Next time!